The Voices Aren't Real
by Claws2
Summary: Just one of those obligatory Prompt Collections. This one starts out with a Naruto One-Shot that's designed for people to borrow and place in larger stories.
1. But They Have Some Good Ideas

**I was reading a bit of a Naruto story earlier when this entirely unrelated scene came to me. It's got a fair bit of Hyuuga-Bashing and references to both NaruHina and Super!Naru. There are also a couple of vague homages to Naruto-fics I've read in the past, but I can't recall the story titles or their authors at the moment. Authors are welcome to include this work in their own stories, so long as they don't take full credit (you need not mention where you found it, just that it's not entirely yours). I have deliberately structured this so it can be set any time before or after the Time-Skip, though it probably fits best some time around the anime's Filler Hell.**

**I know many of you are impatient for me to continue BW (heck, I'm upset with myself about it), but I've not had much input in my poll regarding the next chapter. There's also the not-so-minor detail that I've yet to picture the physical setting for that chapter, so.... *blush***

**----**

Had Hyuuga Hinata not been paralyzed from her fear of what she knew was about to happen, to say nothing of the systematic series of jyuuken strikes her father, Hyuuga Hiashi, had deliberately landed on her not minutes ago, she would have been struggling desperately as she was strapped into place. She stared at her father pleadingly one last time, but the Head of Clan Hyuuga kept his stoic expression, the only hint of his disgust showing through in his glowering eyes.

The Hyuuga Clan Elders looked on in glee barely disguised by a thin veneer of smug approval. They had waited years to have the Caged-Bird Seal applied to this girl, seeing her as weak and unbefitting of the title of Heiress. Their bias against the girl had originally formed as they thought her tainted due to the modified form of jyuuken her mother had favoured as her personal style over the traditional, and hadn't been helped by her...association with...**_that boy_**. That she was known to be interested in medical jutsu and had been found to be making some of the same modifications to their perfect style as her mother had done had cemented their opinion, and they had finally managed to coerce Hiashi to go through with what he should have done after the pathetic girl had originally shown her weakness by managing to be kidnapped - they proudly ignored, in their self-righteous arrogance, the fact the girl had been but a toddler at the time and had yet to begin training in even their Clan Techniques.

Two of the Elders stepped back, having been the ones to bind the youth into position, before each grabbed a calligraphy brush, dipped it into the Sealing ink and began inscribing the Seal upon the formerly flawless skin of her forehead - considered so even by the Hyuuga, whom took as much pride in their facial features as in all other matters they believed made them superior. The pair finished connecting the Control Seal to the Sealing Circle long since laid into place and began channeling their chakra to complete the process, agonizing pain ripping its way through the girl's very being. As Hinata began screaming horrifically, only one thought was able to form in her mind.

_'Naruto-kun...help me!'_

----

He paused in the doorway.

He had seen many terrifying sights in his time as an ANBU, but there was only one other he felt could truly compare the one he faced now. It had been just his luck to be join his squad on the very night of the Uchiha Massacre all those years ago, and it was just his luck that he should bear witness to this one on the final night before he began his retirement.

Almost the entire Main Branch of the Hyuuga Clan lay piled before him. The only individuals missing from the grisly scene were the Clan Heiress and her younger sister, Hyuuga Hanabi, though he had a suspicion the former may have no longer been considered a part of the Main Branch when the incident he now saw the results of had occurred.

Hyuuga Hiashi lay on his back atop the entire Hyuuga Council of Elders, situated directly above the Sealing Circle in the middle of the floor, likely positioned where all those who previously became members of the so-called 'Branch House' had probably been strapped down to prevent their struggling. The symbol that all those in Konoha whom had seen it associated with the Caged-Bird Seal was readily apparent on his bared stomach, though several times larger than was the norm. Blood had spilled profusely from the wound shaped into that mark, and the ANBU could enough of several of the individuals beneath the man to gather that their conditions would be no different.

A great spiral had been carved smoothly into the floor, spreading all the way to the walls. It was engraved as a perfect extension to the Sealing Circle, and he would not be surprised to learn it spread inward to the center of those engravings without disrupting the pattern whatsoever. The blood from the gory exsanguination had already spread throughout the entire spiral without spilling over, but he saw as he stepped into the chamber itself that it had yet to coagulate.

He rushed forward as he saw Hyuuga Hiashi's hand twitch almost imperceptibly in a weak sign of life. Finding a pulse, he called in his squad's medic and sent another member to gather others. After carefully removing Hiashi from the room, he checked the Elders for pulses whilst systematically removing them from the pile.

He found none.

----

Hyuuga Hinata was later found resting in an in-patient treatment room at Konoha's Senju Memorial Hospital, connected to an EKG and a saline drip. The room was otherwise empty, except for a vase on the bedside table containing several Lavenders surrounding a single sunflower. The duty-nurse who found her immediately notified a supervisor, and she was swiftly and thoroughly examined.

A list of recent injuries was compiled, and largely consisted of jyuuken-related stresses to a number of her tenketsu and to her keirakukei, chafed skin around several points on her body and a concussion complicated by a large influx of foreign chakra to her brainpan.


	2. Inari's Unpredictable Phoenix Protector

**Inspired by a query from author Dragon Noir. It's not _quite_ what you asked me for, Drake, but I think you'll still enjoy this bit of pseudo-randomness.**

----

"Ryuu-kun, it seems there was a disturbance at the Hyuuga Clan Compound early this morning. I want you to go investigate into the matter."

"Hai, Hokage-sama!"

----

The ANBU had known he was in for a long day when he found himself alone in replying to Hokage-sama's summons. Konohagakure's leader - who, as Ryuu had learned the hard way, was far more devious than his benevolent persona would suggest - only ever seemed to summon him alone for one reason. That _demon child_ had performed another prank....

Oh, don't get him wrong! He knew very well that the blond brat was not the Kyuubi. No, Uzumaki Naruto was truly a demon in his own right; such was the only explanation for the absolute complexity, increasing frequency and inevitable success of his pranks.

That wasn't always the case. The boy used to be just a simple kid who pulled the occasional prank around the village, amusing even those villagers who bore the brunt of said pranks, however much they may have hidden it behind grumbled commentary. Then, one day...he began studying Fuuinjutsu.

It started out relatively simple, as so many things do. Storage Seals to carry more tools and materials, flash-bang seals he must have copied off of one procured from a member of the Konoha Military Police who was resting his or her Sharingan - or was otherwise just particularly inattentive - and which were used to help the boy escape capture...he even came up with a way to make paint bombs by combining a Storage Seal with a Control Seal designed to release the contents coinciding with the detonation of an Explosive Seal held in check by a complex Limiter Seal which prevented the Explosive Seal from being primed with enough chakra to do more than lightly injure a civilian. After that, his pranks began growing progressively larger, though he still engaged in the simpler types on a regular basis.

Eventually, he spent a week secretly engraving every brick throughout the streets of the Uchiha Clan Compound with high level Raiton and Suiton and amazing Medical Chakra Conversion Seals, finishing his preparations the day before an event occurred that they all knew would have otherwise been a massacre. After the Konoha Ninja Academy dismissed its students on the day of the incident, the boy had followed his usual routine of visiting the Ichiraku Ramen Stand for a 'light snack' of eight bowls and some Inarizushi, then immediately travelled to the gates of the Uchiha Compound to activate his Seals. His timing was eerie, coinciding almost perfectly with both the arrival of Ryuu's squad - that day consisting of himself, Kage, Neko and Tenzou, and led by Inu-Taichou - and, as they learned later, Uchiha Sasuke's release from the Tsukuyomi of his elder brother, Itachi. By this time, nearly all of the other Uchiha had already succumbed to the wounds inflicted upon them by the Clan Heir and ANBU Captain at least several minutes prior, yet Uzumaki's Seal Array was able to revive all but an handful of victims. This latter group included Uchiha Fugaku, Head of his Clan, and several others, all of whom had been both dismembered and decapitated - and all of whom were later discovered, through investigation of various files found in Fugaku-san's private study, to have been involved in a conspiracy to overthrow the Hokage.

Looking back after that event, many ANBU were chagrined to realize that a number of the more complex pranks, though certainly not all of them, had either brought to their attention or neutralized various security flaws and threats to Konohagakure. Several of the kunoichi members were further chagrined to discover they had been holding discussions on subjects related to both their profession and gossip with the child whilst bathing at the public onsen, a fact they only learned when young Naruto revealed his self-styled Oiroke no Jutsu in a prank on one of his Academy sensei during class. These events finally earned him the title of Inari's Unpredictable Phoenix Protector, denoting the youth as a symbol of rebirth, mischief and the Will of Fire, with heavenly insight into the nature of people and the will and wherewithal to protect the innocent and those precious to him.

Ryuu shook himself from his reminiscence as he approached the gates to the Hyuuga Clan Compound. As he entered, he was surprised by how few members of the so-called 'Branch House' were standing guard. His confusion only grew when he noticed that those whom were present were _smiling_ and that their faces showed evidence of tears. What truly froze him in utter shock, however, was the sight of Hyuuga Hiashi, the remainder of the Main Branch Hyuuga, excepting his daughters, and Hyuuga Neji, son of Hiashi's deceased brother, Hizashi, struggling to perform menial labor with the Caged-Bird Seal prominently displayed on all their foreheads, surrounded by known members of the Branch House...whom had foregone their headbands, hitai-ate and other cranial garments in favor of showing the bared, _flawless_, skin of their own foreheads.

Once his shock wore off and Ryuu was able to move once more, he began to question those whom stood idle. All the while, he could not help but admire Uzumaki Naruto for succeeding where all others whom had befriended any Hyuuga had failed, even as he silently wished for a jug of sake and cursed the man widely-renowned as the God of Shinobi for treating him like a detective assigned to the ongoing case of Konoha's Demon Child.

----

Hyuuga Hanabi glowered furiously at the (apparently former) servant before her, the effect more closely resembling an angry pout due to her young age and saccharine features. Who did this hag think she was?! There was no way _any_ self-respecting Hyuuga would _ever_ forgo learning their glorious Jyuuken to study _medicine_ - she grimaced at the mere thought. It was bad enough they made her drink so much milk!

Besides, she hadn't seen her elder sister all day, and that worried her. Not only did Hinata-neesama _never_ miss their morning sparring practice, but Hanabi thought she had heard voices and a loud thud coming from her sister's room, followed by the sound of a window opening and closing, just shortly before the Clan had awoken and the commotion had begun....

----

In a secluded clearing in the forest of Konoha that overlooked a short waterfall and a pond, and had a stream traveling through it, Hyuuga Hinata and Uzumaki Naruto held each other in a gentle embrace, Hinata's hair obscuring their faces but not their state of partial undress. Hinata threw her head back to moan as Naruto's hand slid down to her backside, her now-visible face painted in a brilliant blush that reached the roots of her bangs, and Naruto moved his face to...more interesting territory, his other hand deftly unclasping the barrier obstructing his path.

He had heard what the ANBU called him, just as he had always heard the unkind names everyone else in the Village seemed all-too-happy to bestow upon him. Inari's Unpredictable Phoenix Protector...heh, they should know better than to provide _him_ with ideas. A foxy grin overtook Naruto's face as Hinata held his face close to her heart, her moaning voice achieving a more urgent note. He'd show them just how right they with his new title soon enough...after all, mischief isn't _all_ Inari-sama was known for....


End file.
